Hello, my sweets! So before you read this I would just like to warn you it could trigger some of you. And I write either something from sad to terrifying to “please burn it”. Again, if you have like– a sensitive heart or mind, I recommend you to read my other posts and have a drinking game. Drink whenever I made a typographical or grammatic error! But please make it water– stay hydrated.
. . . . . .
I could look at the skies until the sun rises again.
I could look at the clouds and pretend that I am one of them.
What is it like to see the earth from that high? To move travel around the world, and landing is not an option. Like the soft cotton, the clouds are also part of the canvas called “skies”, every edge and fiber look so majestic.
Big or small. Very visible or almost translucent.
I can’t help but stare at the clouds as if I am still looking for something– or… someone. I have lost the people that I love the most in my heart, I wish they are in the heavens but actually, they are here, I am just not with them. I am nothing to them.
Maybe that’s the reason why I am looking for someone at the clouds. Or just want somebody to replace me, someone better coming from the clouds above me. I don’t know.
What do I know?
I know I don’t belong here. I know every person I hold dear and love the most cannot give the same love that I gave. I’m not obligating them to. I just want to be welcome. Be part of something.
The calling of the clouds excites me. Maybe I am part of them. Am I?
Come to think of it, the dark has always been my friend. And no matter what I do I wouldn’t get notice because the stars always shine the brightest. But what can I do to make this dream happen?
. . . . .
He made it happened.
He is now part of the clouds. Just like he always wanted.
He has always been a prankster, trying to make everyone laugh, he’s very generous and kind– a very humble lad indeed. I remember every single detail about him. From the day we met until the last; as I scatter his ashes to the clouds, the sound of the engine of the plane and the hard wind did not bother me, I am happy for him.
Though I wished he could have achieved this… peacefully. To put it simply. It doesn’t have to be in a way where it’s four in the morning, very dark and stormy, and making a decision to just end it and have bloody splashes around your living room.
He could have talked to me.
Perhaps I could have been more accountable.
He could have at least gave me hints.
I should have paid more attention.
I should have told him earlier.
But what change will that do? I’ll never know, it’s too late.
It is very appealing… to be up there. No wonder he wanted to be with them so badly.
Do you think I could be up there too?
If you guys enjoyed that don’t forget to leave a like, and also I am down for honest comments about what you think of the story and if you have recommendations on how to do so.
See you soon,